girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Randomize
