Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
