I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
