I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
