Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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