Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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