once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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