I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
