yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
