Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Someone came in the potted fern
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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