im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
