I'm so fucking centered right now
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
