drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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