we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
