Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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