Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
