My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
