she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
