he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
