I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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