i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
