3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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