Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
My vagina is very pro this idea
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