i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
