why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Come see our sink grown plant.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
