I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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