ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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