Pregnant stripper...not hot.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize