I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
