So drunk its hurt
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
