I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
