Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize