i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
