Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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