I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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