I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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