I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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