There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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