And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
