Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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