ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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