At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
