I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
