What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
