Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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