Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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