i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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