Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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