actually, I'm a sock model
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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