Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
