whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
