My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I hope mine doesn't look like that
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
