bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
