she's into porn, im staying here tonight
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
