Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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