he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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