I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize