She's JV to your varsity
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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